When You Got Nothing...You Got Nothing To Lose

Worn to bare threads

Hands no longer have 

Energy to hold on

Numbness set in  

Youth died with trust

Outcries gone unheard

Useless to fight the memories

Grand oasis of oblivion

Opens up to swallow me alive as

Tears drown out any hope  

November bore a curse upon this world

Outcast from the start 

The things that make one human...missing

Hidden beneath a layer of mistrust

Indignation brewed beneath the surface

Night after wretched night 

Grabbing hold like a demonic vice  

Yearning for release

Out numbered and overthrown

Ugly scar upon the face of humanity   

Grasping for hope 

Only to slide back down 

The floor of that dark pit awaits

Numbness sought with every prick of the skin

Only to crash back harder 

Time waits for no man, but neither does it hurry along

Hope flickers like a dying flame

Indignation rotting away at the core 

Nothing seems to matter 

Giving up and giving in 

Time wont heal some wounds

Oblivion's  kiss the only relief

Life has run it's course

Outlived its usefulness

Scared and bruised my being and finally

Eviscerated my will to remain

Expired Existence

Shadows of doubt encrypting my mind
 another day passes still walkin' the line
 weathered roads, scarred and worn
 run through this life, all broken and torn

 Sever the past that forever will haunt
 quell the demons that endlessly taunt
 no longer do i have the will
 to fight this raging urge to kill

 Take this existence from me
 run me through then set me free
 release the sorrow to flow like rain
 as I drain this life from my veins

Shadowed Reflection

Because of you I curse my daily existence
as time creeps ever so slowly towards its end
You leave me standing in a world of darkness,
constant shadows enveloping my being
suffocating in a misty gloom of forgotten dreams,
broken promises, and lost hope
I wish to shatter your existence forever
cut you down leaving you to bleed
You left my world nearly colorless,
muted shades of gray and blue
a fog that covers my soul and suffocates endlessly.
In your eyes I see the lost hope of humanity
the slow decay of time and purpose.
Because of you I can not see past my faults
my weakness and my constant pain.
You hold me prisoner within myself
forced to live a life unwanted and detached
void of all feeling of worth and reason.
A shadowed reflection of myself, gazing back into my eyes.

Shadows of hope fade into the darkness,
consumed by the world around them,
crying out yet silent,
then fading, and gone.
A mind that does not think past the moment,
causing heartache to those around it,
destroying that, which should have embraced.
Selfish, worthless, unworthy.
Time wasted that should have been cherished,
time lost, that can now, never be replaced.
Now, In these twilight hours of my being,
as the light draws to a close,
and fades to shades of violet and black,
a clock ticking off its final moments,
all I can say is... I am sorry.

.

False Knowledge of the Heart

How does one feel the right

to say what another's heart feels?

Do they feel its agony,

when the world around it falls in ruin?

Do they feel its gentle sigh,

in moments of rare serenity?

The gentle breeze and

smell of damp earth that calms it?

The brilliant flash of lightning in

summer storms that excite it?

Do they feel its numbness at times,

brought on my the world around it?

Do they feel it break?

Shatter into pieces and bleed dry?

How does one feel the right

to say what another's heart feels?

They may think they have the knowledge

of what lies inside,

But quite simply.....They don't.

Thought Expressed To A Friend

PHYSICAL PAIN IS BY FAR, EASIER TO HANDLE, THAN ANYTHING OF THE HEART.

Roaming

Why must things always slip through the cracks,
fall to the ground and shatter ,
crashing into a thousand shards of lost hope,
and infinite agony?
Why am I so detached in this time and place?
Feeling lost,
left to wander a world I was never meant to be part of.
Drifting through these the years wishing each to be my last
yet my heart still beats on in agony.
Lost or forgotten dreams seem to haunt my mind,
as life holds me here against my will.
I wish to be free,
to be forever rid of this endless roaming.

Cold

Here at the end of summer

I watch the days draw in

The pale light so full of questions

That I cannot move on.

Three years of sinking slowly

I can’t take another day

I would give anything

To make it go away

There’s nothing worth believing anymore

There is no place I haven’t been before

The little things that matter pass away

And leave our garden fragrant with decay

It’s just empty space inside now.

Under the barren trees,

Your absence fills the silence

And your voice still haunts my dreams

I can’t find a sense of purpose

I can’t seem to get a hold

I can’t find my peace of mind

It leaves me feeling cold

©Dust

She Waits

Just A Number

For Robyn

Hello old friend.
It has been an eternity
it seems since I have heard anything from you.
I take it all has fallen to its end,
you have moved on with your life,
and left things behind.
I guess I can understand this.
We all need change,
we all evolve into something new.
Time rolls along on its never ending journey,
and things are buried in its wake.
New things are found,
as the old rots and fades away.
We grow and change into something that we must be,
someone who can face the world with open eyes each day,
and not have to pretend to those around us.
And as much as I know this is the way that things work,
it still hurts,
still leaves an empty hole where sunshine and laughter once lay.
Where the gentle words of a caring friend took away the grey clouds,
that overshadowed life.
Even if it was just a temporary break in a storm cast world,
it was welcomed, cherished.
And now it is missed.
I hope your life is treating you well.
I hope the choice you have made,
is the right one for you.
I also hope that you too, have that special person,
who can clear away your storms and bring you light.
I just hope they do not blow away,
like a dead leaf in an autumn wind.

Is This Realy Life ?

Cry Of A Heart

Abandoned heart of fire,

lost in days gone by,

cast aside, discarded,

has long since said goodbye.

Condemned to days of torment,

weighed down and torn apart,

irredeemable ruin now,

befalls this forlorn heart.

Sentenced to affliction,

bound forever to its pain

In solitary sorrow,

it lies forever now enchained.

Hope Lost

The shroud falls and all is revealed.
No longer hidden behind counterfeit reality,
Simulated truths, and assumed alliance.
Reality hits like a sharp blow to the chest.
Cutting off breath, crushing, cutting,
leaving nothing behind but the stark reality
of everything lost, gone astray, dead.

The Beauty That Is You

I close my eyes and let the beauty that is your soul fill me.

The warmth of your love bright and true,

A candle flame lighting the darkness

within this once cold heart.

Soft is your skin as I hold you tight,

warm is your breath upon my neck.

My soul is set free once again,

flying in endless skies of hope.

Lost in a whirl-wind of pleasure,

swirling and twisting.

Time stands still as I look within the depths of your eyes,

Down to your very soul.

Our lives are but a mere blink in the vastness of time,

But eternity could never replace the time that I have with you.

Chaotic ramblings

It is a confusing and crazy world.
He no longer understands any of it.
He is not even sure he wants to try.
Nothing makes much sense.
It is all chaotic ramblings
meaningless words
empty stares.
They think they know
but they know nothing
Nothing of how things were
How they are now
or what they shall become.
Nothing of the endless screams
broken sentences, fragmented words.
Nothing of his mind at all.
And neither does he anymore

they never shut up

He sits in darkness
trying to ignore some of what he hears.
They never shut up
and when the do it is not He who enjoys the silence.
At those times He is gone,
lost somewhere within himself perhaps.
And the thoughts flood his mind,
because he knows they are out there...
just waiting for their chance.
Walking a thin line at times ,
between reality and total insanity,
or so they say.
But what do they know anyways.
Tired of all the games the thought comes back,
the same thought that is never far away...
smoking cold steel.
But this time it is pushed aside,
thrown back into the corners of his mind to wait.
Beats his head on the desk,
grasping at the hope that perhaps that may help.
But of course it does not...Still screaming...Taunting.
Shadows move , out of the corner of his eye.
He sees them, knows they are there.
No use in turning to look , because they always elude sight.
disappearing into the shadows.....Watching....Waiting.

Swimming in disorder

Visions surface then fade

Back to the rusted corners of a broken mind.

Chaotic screaming

Voices call out

Refusing to be ignored any longer.

Try to forget it all.

Shut it out, Beat it down.

Preserve at least a shard of sanity.

Silent Darkness

He sits in silent darkness

At times it seems to overwhelm him,

smothering and suffocating.

Tears build inside but are trapped there,

unable to be released, to flow free..

and in this build up of unreleased pain,

grows an anger of immeasurable strength.

Anger for all the pain, anger for the weakness.

It multiplies and overtakes the very soul,

turning the heart to cold stone.

He wishes that this roller coaster of emotion would come to a level,

even out or disappear all together.

At times it seems unbearable,

at others, he would not know what to do without it.

His mind is a mess, a massive confusion,

endlessly screaming, never shutting up,

never seeming to make sense.

Oh just for a day of silence...

He would give his soul.

But he knows this is how it is, how it must be,

has been for years...Will always be.