Forgotten

What crawls through the mind
like a shadow falling,
slowly devouring the light,
growing darker ?
Whispers..Echoes within,
bouncing and scraping the walls,
tearing at it's surface,
like the fangs of a hungry beast.
Then sinking deeply inside,
eating it away, piece by piece,
'til all is lost...Forgotten.

The journey of life is filled with bits and pieces of the people we meet along the way. Sometimes the pieces are treasured for all eternity, held close to the heart and kept safe, protected with force known as love. Other times the pieces turn out to be shifting sands in a never ending hour-glass...falling, changing, becoming something completely different. Choices are made, and loves are lost, forever blown to the wind. Hopes are shattered, destroyed with the realization that what they were thought to be, was never true, had always been an illusion cloaked within a mist. The realization of such falsehoods leaves raw wounds that never completely heal, rough edges that are forever on the verge of bleeding .

Every day is exactly the same

I believe I can see the future
As I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now i never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around again

Oh, no


Everyday is exactly the same
Everyday is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Everyday is exactly the same

I can feel thier eyes are watching
In case I loose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end


I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I am still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know- I don't know what else I can do!

(NIN-Every Day Is Exactly The Same)

Open it up , release the pain,
Small crimson river flowing
Till it reaches finger tips.

Dripping...to its end,
Bitter tears mingle with blood.
In the puddle of life being created on the floor.

Dear Life,
Once again you have bitten me in the ass.
As winter fades and spring arrives, bringing things
back to life from their long winters sleep, I sit
here numb. You know why, I do not need to explain it to you.
You know it all, the struggle...The pain..The exhaustion.
Why do I even write this, I do not know. But I am none the less.
I am writing to to bitch, to tell you how damned angry I am.
I write to wall back the emotions which are dying to
break free and cause a flood that I could not stop.
Over and over it repeats in my mind, words I do not care to hear.
A fight I am tired of fighting..I am a broken blade in the battle of life.
And I am writing this to tell you I have had enough...Leave me alone.
Bret

Death as the Sunset

Out of the myst of the mind
arises dark thoughts.
Days of past and present,
none of it matters anymore.
Reality sinks in slowly
death within living flesh.
Rotting, eating it way
devouring life minute by minute,
till it is no more.
Till light starts to fade
as violet and crimson sunsets.
Beauty at the end,
the dying light of what once was.

Grave Reality

Things have left that level edge
and once more have flipped upside down
overshadowing all that is good..
leaving behind a stone cold grave reality.
Filled with rotting memories, and decayed hope.
I pull myself out of this hole,
yet the earth of this life once more seems muddy,
and I slip back to the bottom to slowly rot.
Cold is the ground below, as the heart within.
The smell of dark damp earth fills my lungs,
mind swarms with thought,
like maggots ingesting putrid flesh.
I close my eyes and let it take me.
Give in to its dark embrace..and wait.

Silent thoughts cut through the mind
like a sword of lightning.
Giving light to shadow filled corners.
Blue bathed clarity.
Somehow still a filtered example
of true reality.
Short glimpses ,obscured thought.
Unfocused existence in an overcast mind.

Sinking...Drowning in mud.
Deeper, Slowley covering my head.
Motionless, Bound
Powerless, Broken.

You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed.

Free

Shed not a single tear when i am gone
I will be free....
All the torture of living
will be released from me...
Now I am Free
No more days of torture
and nights of pain
Death will bring me release at last
With life i had nothing to gain....
Now I am Free
There are a few I'll miss
but I shed not a single tear
I embrace death with my whole being
not a hint of fear....
Now I am Free
And as the veil of death covers my eyes
and life is released in a river of crimson blood
I leave this world ...with a laugh
Because I am Finaly Free

Death of a Heart

What is it that causes a heart to die?
Is it pains from long past years,
Creaping up to haunt a troubled mind?
Memories of those before who have taken
slashes at the heart with a knife of deceit?
Leaving open wounds to bleed for a lifetime,
Unable to heal...agonized,tormented.
Bruised and battered trust...lost forever,
Drowning in a river is mistrust.

Stained with Memory

The walls of this mind are stained with memory.
Screams of anger, the tears of a child,
lonely nights, and fear filled days.
The echoes of the past come back to haunt,
relentless, unforgiving..A constant reminder
of shadow cast corners, and darkened rooms.
The bitter taste of tears ,
as they flow down a childs cheek.
as a face twisted with anger hangs overhead.
As the child grows these memories still remain
an unforgettable torment that breeds anger
feeds distrust, opens old wounds.
****************************************************
I found this site random acts of journaling on Jess's blog
the poetry prompt was..Stained with Memory

Thanks to my Sis and Bro for bringing this little bit of info to my attention. I think everyone needs to see it ...

Sunset on Sanity

Voices... Like an endless wind
blowing through the mind.
Tearing apart what was once whole,
leaving behind wreckage.
Disorganized thought... Bits and pieces
Nothing more...Broken, disarranged.
Like a thousand shards of glass
from shattered windows.


Cloaked in shadows,
moving like a myst.
Lost between worlds.
What is reality, what is dream.
Is any of this more then delusion
self-deception..Untruth?
What causes such malfunction
misfire...Disorder?

Bound together.
Twisted and warped.
A train wreck within the mind.
Indifference ...Passion... Antipathy
Hatred...Rage...Furor.
Impossible to make sense of it anymore.
Fading...The endless ticking of time.
Minute by minute..Hour by hour.

As the sun sets on his sanity.

Tired, so very tired.

Struggle to remain awake and function.

Drifting in and out of reality.

But is it really reality that fades? , or is it infact the illusion?

The thin line between the two grows more narrow.

Spinning out of control in a steady downward spiral.

Useless to prevent it, no control over anything anymore.

Why even attempt control, it bears no accomplishment.

It is all just the same in the end.

Cold.... Angry.... Tired.

Swimming in disorder
Visions surface then fade
Back to the rusted corners of a broken mind.
Chaotic screaming
Voices call out
Refusing to be ignored any longer.
Try to forget it all.
Shut it out, Beat it down.
Preserve at least a shard of sanity.

Shadows...Voices ..Things of long past
Haunting a Wrecked Mind.
Things left unsaid and undone..
To late now... Frozen.
In the past..Locked away.
Better that way.
Left behind..Buried beneath,
Lost as the Years have been Lost.
Rusted ..Crumbled ..Rotten.
Washed away in a River of Tears.
Drowning in Agony..Gasping for Air.
Bleeding from a Gash left in the Heart.
Choking on Hatred..Distrust...Betrayal.

Have you ever felt the need to spill another's blood?
A feeling so strong that it eats away at you and demands your attention?
Grating on your nerves making them raw.
Tying your guts in knots that grow tighter and tighter.
Echoing and bouncing off the walls of your mind.
All you can do is sit and think about it, knowing you can do nothing....
Not yet anyways.
All in due time...They say every dog has his day.
Some dogs will find that their day has come sooner than expected.
When thy find themselves lying on the cold ground..
their life's blood slowly draining away.
Body growing cold and numb.
Light slowly fading from their eyes.
A faint ringing in their ears....
Then nothing.
Death.

I havent written much on here latley, Hell I have not done much of anything latley but sleep and fell like death warmed over. Maybe things will be different soon, better in some way...then again maybe not, Hell who knows. I guess all one can do is wait and see. One thing is sure, There is a change in the air.