Cold

Here at the end of summer

I watch the days draw in

The pale light so full of questions

That I cannot move on.

Three years of sinking slowly

I can’t take another day

I would give anything

To make it go away

There’s nothing worth believing anymore

There is no place I haven’t been before

The little things that matter pass away

And leave our garden fragrant with decay

It’s just empty space inside now.

Under the barren trees,

Your absence fills the silence

And your voice still haunts my dreams

I can’t find a sense of purpose

I can’t seem to get a hold

I can’t find my peace of mind

It leaves me feeling cold

©Dust

She Waits

Just A Number

For Robyn

Hello old friend.
It has been an eternity
it seems since I have heard anything from you.
I take it all has fallen to its end,
you have moved on with your life,
and left things behind.
I guess I can understand this.
We all need change,
we all evolve into something new.
Time rolls along on its never ending journey,
and things are buried in its wake.
New things are found,
as the old rots and fades away.
We grow and change into something that we must be,
someone who can face the world with open eyes each day,
and not have to pretend to those around us.
And as much as I know this is the way that things work,
it still hurts,
still leaves an empty hole where sunshine and laughter once lay.
Where the gentle words of a caring friend took away the grey clouds,
that overshadowed life.
Even if it was just a temporary break in a storm cast world,
it was welcomed, cherished.
And now it is missed.
I hope your life is treating you well.
I hope the choice you have made,
is the right one for you.
I also hope that you too, have that special person,
who can clear away your storms and bring you light.
I just hope they do not blow away,
like a dead leaf in an autumn wind.

Is This Realy Life ?

Cry Of A Heart

Abandoned heart of fire,

lost in days gone by,

cast aside, discarded,

has long since said goodbye.

Condemned to days of torment,

weighed down and torn apart,

irredeemable ruin now,

befalls this forlorn heart.

Sentenced to affliction,

bound forever to its pain

In solitary sorrow,

it lies forever now enchained.

Hope Lost

The shroud falls and all is revealed.
No longer hidden behind counterfeit reality,
Simulated truths, and assumed alliance.
Reality hits like a sharp blow to the chest.
Cutting off breath, crushing, cutting,
leaving nothing behind but the stark reality
of everything lost, gone astray, dead.

The Beauty That Is You

I close my eyes and let the beauty that is your soul fill me.

The warmth of your love bright and true,

A candle flame lighting the darkness

within this once cold heart.

Soft is your skin as I hold you tight,

warm is your breath upon my neck.

My soul is set free once again,

flying in endless skies of hope.

Lost in a whirl-wind of pleasure,

swirling and twisting.

Time stands still as I look within the depths of your eyes,

Down to your very soul.

Our lives are but a mere blink in the vastness of time,

But eternity could never replace the time that I have with you.

Chaotic ramblings

It is a confusing and crazy world.
He no longer understands any of it.
He is not even sure he wants to try.
Nothing makes much sense.
It is all chaotic ramblings
meaningless words
empty stares.
They think they know
but they know nothing
Nothing of how things were
How they are now
or what they shall become.
Nothing of the endless screams
broken sentences, fragmented words.
Nothing of his mind at all.
And neither does he anymore

they never shut up

He sits in darkness
trying to ignore some of what he hears.
They never shut up
and when the do it is not He who enjoys the silence.
At those times He is gone,
lost somewhere within himself perhaps.
And the thoughts flood his mind,
because he knows they are out there...
just waiting for their chance.
Walking a thin line at times ,
between reality and total insanity,
or so they say.
But what do they know anyways.
Tired of all the games the thought comes back,
the same thought that is never far away...
smoking cold steel.
But this time it is pushed aside,
thrown back into the corners of his mind to wait.
Beats his head on the desk,
grasping at the hope that perhaps that may help.
But of course it does not...Still screaming...Taunting.
Shadows move , out of the corner of his eye.
He sees them, knows they are there.
No use in turning to look , because they always elude sight.
disappearing into the shadows.....Watching....Waiting.

Swimming in disorder

Visions surface then fade

Back to the rusted corners of a broken mind.

Chaotic screaming

Voices call out

Refusing to be ignored any longer.

Try to forget it all.

Shut it out, Beat it down.

Preserve at least a shard of sanity.

Silent Darkness

He sits in silent darkness

At times it seems to overwhelm him,

smothering and suffocating.

Tears build inside but are trapped there,

unable to be released, to flow free..

and in this build up of unreleased pain,

grows an anger of immeasurable strength.

Anger for all the pain, anger for the weakness.

It multiplies and overtakes the very soul,

turning the heart to cold stone.

He wishes that this roller coaster of emotion would come to a level,

even out or disappear all together.

At times it seems unbearable,

at others, he would not know what to do without it.

His mind is a mess, a massive confusion,

endlessly screaming, never shutting up,

never seeming to make sense.

Oh just for a day of silence...

He would give his soul.

But he knows this is how it is, how it must be,

has been for years...Will always be.

Beyond The Crimson Door

Silently she sleeps beyond the crimson door

as daylight fades on the horizon,

exploding into shades of red and orange.

Painting the sky with its last breath,

As the caustic rays of the sun are set to sleep.

The gentle rise and fall of her chest,

her ivory skin draped in jet black lace,

cold as the frigid winds of a winters morn.

She has lain sleeping

awaiting the silent beauty of the evening.

Violet twilight now beckons her to wake,

calls out her name softly.

A gentle sigh escapes her lips

as her grey eyes slowly open.

Eyes the color of summer storm clouds

are now awakened to the world.

A new night now belongs to her.

Violet light bathes her icy flesh

awakens her senses , renews her once more

As she walks out into the night , into her world

beyond the crimson door.

Shattered

Days have no meaning.
Time seems to stand still,
and all falls apart.
Shatters all around, like an old windowpane,
struck by a branch in a sudden violent storm.
Leaving pieces of what it once was
lying on the floor, jagged and sharp.
Setting the warmth of life free
and welcoming in the bitter cold.
Blowing out candles of hope
as it makes its way into your heart
forming ice crystals of loss and despair.

Words wont fit the feeling.

There are no words to describe this life.

How does one describe something that is not there?

How does one live, when already dead?

Dark the shadows are, swirling through his mind.
Overtaking, consuming every thought.
Drowning and choking, gasping for air.
Struggling through the murky glimpses
flashing through his mind.
A child's bicycle overturned on a cracked sidewalk.
Shadowed corners of a dimly lit room.
Purple twilight filled with fireflies.
Scraped and bruised skin, broken bones.
Voices screaming, echoing in the mind.
That mans hands, boards, chains and electric cords.
A stolen kiss in the back of a chevelle.
Flashes of long past times.
Still clear enough to slice through his heart.
Scar tissue forms on the surface,
but the wounds never heal.

Untitled

In darkness she sleeps, so silent and alone.
I watch each rise and fall of her chest,
Feel each beat of her gentle heart.
Yet though she sleeps,tears of pain flow from her eyes.
A withered soul,
Who mourns for days of sunshine and smiles.
She is my dark beauty, my sleeping sorrow.
Her pain is a vice around my dying heart,
That weeps for her.

Im not that strong ,
at times I feel as if im a candle flame
in the swiftly growing wind of a storm,
fighting against all odds to stay lit,
that is not strength.
We all make choices,
we all have the choices to make,
and we make them,
one is never forced to love ,
I was never forced to live,
you were never forced to care.
We all makes choices to do the things we do in this life,
it just seems that at times,
somehow along the way,
things get bent and warped in shape,
never quite seem to go in the directions we intended them too.
And so we go on living,
trying to make sense of it all,
wade thru the dark waters, fight against the winds ,
and fight to get a grasp on something that is steady and calm.
But sometimes when we think that we have found that steady thing to grasp,
it too snaps like a rotted branch of a tree,
and we are once again falling,
and searching for something else to grab hold of.

Dark and Putrid, Cold and Unforgiving.
Up from the depths it rises.
Piercing flesh and Devouring the mind.
Rush followed by Nothingness, Emptiness.
World retreats, Sounds intertwine.
Winding down, slowly sinking into the black.