I don't know why I am here or why I am even writhing this...None of any of this really matters in the long run does it?...Its just a constant back and forth struggle with everything...One minute feeling up the next feeling so down you would expect if you looked up to see dirt covering you like a grave...Im glad I have this little place on the net to rant...My own person bitching ground where I do not have to worry what other people think...My page my life my thoughts...I just feel so empty right now, I feel I have lost one of the few things that made this day to day bullshit worth sticking around for...But its not all about me, and ill have to come to terms with that , and stop being so selfish..But part of me just wants to scream or cry, or just go completely numb...Oh well such is life I guess.