Numb

He awoke this afternoon feeling numb.
No pain , no happiness, just numb.
He rolled over , grabbed a smoke off the table on the side of the bed.
Lit it, layed back down ...Inhaled deeply.
As he exhaled and smoke rose into the air,
he remembered the night before.
How close he had come, and once more didn't do it.
He got out of bed and walked over to the desk.
Everything still the same as he had left it.
Nothing changed.
The ashtray sits overflowing .
The empty bottles laying on their side.
The empty rig tossed aside.
The small black box with red lettering reading
WOLF ammunition....Ironic in its own way..
box top still open.
And the rifle...laying over the top of it all.
He can almost smell the stench of anger still in the air.
With undertones of regret and sadness.
Now he sits here writing this , not even knowing why.
Not knowing anything anymore.
Not feeling anything anymore.
Just numb.